Help from the Socially Awkward
by Silverceil
Summary: In which Sasuke relies on Sai's self-help books and Naruto asks Neji for advice. Main SasuNaru, side NejiSai. Complete one-shot.


**Author's Notes:** I don't know why the beginning sounds like a news article, but bear with me here…I wrote this pretty late at night (that's my excuse). Also, assume that all the Akatsuki and other things are already behind them. Enjoy!

**Title:** Help from the Socially Awkward

**Pairing:** Main SasuNaru, side NejiSai

**Rating:** T

**Summary: **In which Sasuke relies on Sai's self-help books and Naruto asks Neji for advice. Main SasuNaru, side NejiSai.

* * *

**Help from the Socially Awkward**

By Silverceil

Sai and Neji had begun dating in early spring. To the surprise of many, they were still going strong after three whole months. Due to the couple's distinct lack of either common sense or perceivable emotions, the citizens of Konoha were simply left baffled by their compatibility as well as their relationship in general.

When asked by his fellow teammates, Neji would reply that it was fate and Sai, for his part, would attribute their success to the ludicrous amount of ...physical connection they shared.

"It's simply astonishing," Tenten told Ino one day, as the weapon master picked out some flowers for her small apartment. "They just somehow…work."

Ino could do nothing but shrug, for she didn't know either of the men too well. She did, however, jot the information down in her trusty journal, also known as Konoha's ever-growing gossip scroll.

Not far away from the Yamanaka Flower Shop, a feisty blond and a pale raven-haired man ran across the training grounds, challenging each other to battles at every chance they got. Not being particularly known for their life choices, the two had, unknowingly to the other, both solicited the assistance of a certain couple to help them in their quest for love. Or in less cheesy terms, to confess their affections for one another without the risk of giving the other a heart attack.

Sasuke approached Sai in particular, mostly because the Hyuuga talked too much about fate. However, as the Uchiha entered into the artist's living quarters, he began to slightly regret not choosing to ask Neji instead. As his dark eyes glanced around the small room, he couldn't help but shudder at the various paintings stuck against the walls. Sai was talented, but it just made the works depicting explicit content all the more awkward for the Uchiha. He subtlety shied away and settled for staring at the ceiling instead.

Moments passed and Sasuke grew more and more apprehensive about his not-so-fail-proof plan. The former Root ninja had told him to sit on the couch and had given him his own version of a contorted smile before leaving to enter his bedroom.

_'Even I can smile better than that,'_ the Uchiha thought, mentally snorting at Sai's attempt to curl his lips into anything close to a proper smile. Sasuke would readily admit that he rarely showed many emotions on his face other than a smirk or two, but he was certain that he could smile. If there was one thing that meeting Naruto had taught him, it was to let go and show when he was happy. It usually came out as a grunted "Hn" or a rough punch to the shoulder, but it was always good enough and the blond would grin back at him, his bright blue eyes lighting up in that special way that always put Sasuke's heart on overdrive.

Time ticked by and Sai seemed to be taking an eternity to come back, so Sasuke decided to practice smiling. After all, he couldn't well confess to the blond while wearing a frown on his face. He knew that Naruto understood him much better than most people out there, but it simply didn't fit the occasion. Who said "I love you" while glaring at the other person?

Rolling his shoulders back a few times, he stretched his neck and cleared his throat._ 'Now or never,_' he told himself and gave the only non-painting-infested corner of Sai's room a determined glare.

Meanwhile, Sai entered the living room again to see the corners of Sasuke's lips twitch like an electrocuted limb. He then directed his blank stare to the second book in the pile he carried and fished it out.

"You'll need this one," he told the other and Sasuke jolted in surprise before quickly finding his composure again. He then looked down at the book in Sai's hands and read _How to Smile: for the Facially Paralyzed_.

Needless to say, he wasn't too happy, but he took it anyway.

* * *

Naruto hopped from branch to branch until he reached the Hyuuga compound. There was a guard in front of the gates, but he easily by passed the byakugan-yielding man as he made his way in. The place was a maze and it contained many sub-divisions that lead to different living quarters, training grounds or gigantic hot springs. However, Naruto had been there a few times when Neji would invite him over for training and had gotten used to making his way through the tricky corners of the large house.

Sneaking against the bamboo walls of the building, the blond kept in the shadows and avoided all the servants or family members that wandered around the halls. He crept his way into the main Hyuuga training dojo and, as expected, found Neji pulverizing a human-sized straw doll.

As he entered the room, intense pupil-less eyes met his own cerulean blues and they stared at each other for a good few seconds before Naruto grinned and threw himself at the Hyuuga. Neji easily dodged the blond's attempt to hug him and sat down neatly against the tatami mat.

Crossing his legs, Neji took a deep breath to calm his speeding heart rate from his previous exercises and closed his eyes.

"How can I help you?" he asked in a calm tone, his voice unwavering despite the workout.

Naruto quickly shuffled over to sit next to the brunet. "How did you get together with Sai?" he asked eagerly and bit his upper lip in anticipation.

Neji's lashes fluttered open and he glanced over at the blond and quirked an eyebrow at him.

"May I ask the reason for such an inquiry?"

Naruto cocked his head to the side and scratched his neck in confusion. "Why are you talking like that?"

"Like what?"

"You know," the blond gestured around. "All sage-like. You sound like you're about to cripple and die."

Neji's eye twitched at that, but he kept his emotions in check and took another deep breath.

"Fine," he grumbled, annoyance slightly seeping into his voice. "Why do you want to know?"

The blond perked up and sat straighter. "Cause both Sai and Sasuke are emotionless bastards and I thought if it worked for one, it should work for the other." He then nodded at his own statement, just to be more convincing.

Neji stared at him in silence for the next few seconds before heaving a sigh. "I'd tell you it was fate," he began and held up a hand to stop the blond from interrupting. "But I know you'd bother me to no end if I did."

Naruto nodded vigorously in agreement and Neji continued.

"Hence, I'll agree to help you under one condition."

The blond blinked. "Yeah sure, what is it?"

Neji smirked and Naruto couldn't help but shiver in premonition.

"Be my human punching bag for the next week."

* * *

Sasuke opened his closet and peered inside at the large expanse of mostly black, more black, a little bit of navy blue and a speck of white. He then stared at his sizable collection of wide-collared shirts and fishnet tanks before turning his gaze back to the open book resting in his hand named _How to Dress to Impress: Fashion Disaster Edition_.

Despite being somewhat thankful that Sai let him borrow his self-help books, the titles just grated at the Uchiha's nerves like no other piece of writing ever did. Nonetheless, he kept his temper in check in order to productively learn from these catastrophically named works.

So far, he'd gone through and taken notes on how to compliment other people, or as the title fondly put it, how to "avoid being slapped". Sasuke had snorted at that, finding the whole notion of someone slapping an Uchiha utterly ridiculous. Punching, maybe. Slapping? Never…or not yet.

He'd given up on the smiling book long ago, but it was still on his desk, just waiting to insult his inability to properly show his all-encompassing joy for the world to see. While he did like the idea of making Naruto happy, he concluded that there were probably many other things he could do that did not include stretching his facial muscles in ways they almost never moved.

Now, however, he had a dilemma and it involved clothes.

Sasuke glanced down at the marked page he kept open in his hand and read the sentence Sai had highlighted: "Show off your best features". The advice made him think, but it mostly made him wonder if that was why Sai never wore a full shirt, but stuck with belly-button monstrosities.

But back to his problem: "best features" was too vague a term for the Uchiha because really, Sasuke was the epitome of perfection…on the physical level. Psychologically and socially, he needed some help…which were what the books were for.

Hence, to ask him to "show off" his best features would translate, in his mind, to running around naked in the streets of Konoha, blinding everyone with the remarkable gift bestowed to him by his all-mighty Uchiha ancestors. Not that he thought he was the best looking person in the world because Neji was pretty well off himself and Naruto was very handsome indeed, but Sasuke would readily say that he did not have much competition on the looks department. As a result, he could only conclude that the book did not make sense.

As the Uchiha glared at the open page in frustration, his eyes suddenly landed on a small note under the last paragraph, in the annotations. It read: "If this doesn't help, go with black" and just like that, all of Sasuke's wardrobe problems were solved. No more were the worries of having to go shopping for new clothes because, as his new favorite book dictated, black was what he needed and black was what he had.

Clapping the book shut, he rested it against his bedside table and walked out of his room, humming a familiar tune he probably heard Naruto sing at some point; something about dreamers and fighters and then a bunch of gibberish.

Meanwhile, Naruto strolled down the large dusty streets of Konoha and waited for fate to strike. Or as Neji put it, he was awaiting divine intervention because he was otherwise hopeless. The blond momentarily wondered whether the pale-eyed man was taking his request seriously, but he had decided to trust the man and trust the Hyuuga he would. Hence, there he was, in the middle of the market, just waiting for something to happen.

He continued walking, passing by numerous fruit and vegetable carts and weapon stores. It was as he sauntered across a more crowded area of the place that Ino spotted him aimlessly walking around.

"Hey Naruto!" the blond woman called, trying to catch her former classmate's attention.

Naruto paused in his steps and looked over to the direction of the Yamanaka Flower Shop. In front of the large windows, Ino was watering colorful flowers while still wearing her trademark purple ninja suit despite being off-duty due to an injury sustained in her last A-class mission.

Naruto made his way over to her shop, avoiding the many citizens running around carrying purchases or products to be sold.

"Hey Ino, how's it going?" he greeted with a grin, having finally reached her.

"Not bad," she grinned back, because Naruto always made her want to smile. It was simply something he naturally did. "Was collecting some gossip from Ten-chan a while ago."

The blond man cocked his head to the side and blinked, for he was not particularly informed about the latest stories. "Anything interesting?"

"Not really, just that Sai and Neji are doing a really good job," she answered and put the watering can down. "I wonder what their secret is," she added, rubbing her chin.

"Yeah, me too," Naruto sighed and Ino quirked a neatly plucked eyebrow at him before smirking.

"Why? Interesting in someone?" she teased and giggled when the other blond blushed and choked on his words.

"N-No?"

Ino smiled devilishly, "Was that a question?"

"No…?" Naruto replied, an uncertain tone in his voice. He avoided her gaze and stared at a crimson rose propped up in a crystal clear container and wondered if Sasuke would like it…or if he would throw it at his face.

The blond was so absorbed with his imaginary scenario that Ino gave up on questioning him and shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips.

"You know," she began and the whiskered man snapped out of his daze and glanced over at her. "If you like someone, just tell them."

Naruto stared at her some more before rubbing the back of his neck. "Is it really that simple?"

The girl slightly frowned in thought. "Not always, but it's worth a try," she told him, hoping it was the best answer because Naruto looked troubled for some reason. And the powerhouse rarely let that side of himself show.

"I don't want to lose him," Naruto muttered after a while, his voice softer than his usual loud remarks. At the mention of a "him", Ino immediately guessed who he was referring to. _'So he likes Sasuke,'_ she thought.

A small smirk slowly curled her lips as she watched Naruto fidget in place, unconscious on his little slip.

"Well, best of luck," she told him and he immediately grinned back.

"Yeah!" he exclaimed and pumped his fist into the air. "If Neji and Sai can work it out, I'm sure we could too," he said and left without letting Ino put in another word.

As he sprinted away, she wondered if he even realized that he'd just given her more material to fuel her heavy gossip journal, not that she'd outright tell anyone about his affections for the Uchiha. _'Hinting would be alright,'_ she thought._ 'Yes, "hinting"…'_

* * *

"Dobe, come eat at my place," Sasuke grunted, his most intimidating glare perfectly in place. He wore one of his infamous dark blue wide-collared t-shirts paired with plain black shorts, but he knew he looked as dashing as usual. Surely the blond would like it?

However, only silence followed and the Uchiha glared harder at his reflection in the mirror.

"Dobe, would you," he began and paused, glancing down at the open page of the book entitled _Dates for the Socially Awkward_. "What would you say…about dinner at my place?" he continued and frowned at how strange he sounded.

He gazed back down at the page and found his problem: "Never insult your date".

_'"Dobe" isn't an insult,'_ he told himself, nodding as he thought about it. _'It's a term of endearment,'_ he continued to argue with himself before heaving a sigh and glancing back up towards the long mirror against his wall.

"Naruto," he said and felt a little self-conscious. "Join me for dinner?" His voice waned near the end, making him sound very unconvincing.

_'Not good enough,'_ he self-criticized and frowned harder.

Just as he opened his mouth to continue practicing, someone knocked at his door and he paused in his actions. He blinked for a second and tried to recall if he was to meet anyone that day. _'Kakashi-sensei,'_ he remembered and quickly glanced at the clock hung high on his bedroom wall. Looking at the time, he realized that he'd been reading and analyzing Sai's self-help books for the whole afternoon and cursed under his breath before making his way to the door.

Standing outside the Uchiha compound, Kakashi twirled his favorite issue of Icha Icha Paradise in his hand and glanced over at Sasuke when the door finally opened.

"Never thought you'd ever be later than me," the grey-haired ninja chuckled, his visible eye crinkling with mirth. "The news about Naruto surprised you that bad?"

Sasuke blinked in surprise before setting his features back to their emotionless default.

"What's wrong with the dobe?"

The copy ninja continued playing with his book and shrugged. "No idea, just heard from Gai that he was being stalked by some secret male admirer," he said, noticing the slight twitch in Sasuke's left eye.

"R-Really? Who'd stalk the dobe," Sasuke retorted, not convincing anyone with his statement. Or at least, Kakashi didn't look like he bought it.

"Anyway," the older man coughed into his fist. "You still up for training?"

Sasuke thought about it before nodding, "Yeah, let's go."

As they made their way to the training grounds, a blond blur passed them by at an astonishing speed only Naruto could pull off. Before the man could get very far, Kakashi put his foot out and Naruto tripped.

"Ow! What the hell!" he yelled, rubbing his scared cheeks. He then sent a glare towards Sasuke and the latter held his hands up in his innocence.

"Wasn't me," the brunet said and so Naruto sent his glare towards the perverted former teacher of his.

Kakashi chuckled, his nose still in his book. "Sorry there, didn't see you," he said and no one believed him. The masked man didn't seem to care and continued to read his porn.

As Naruto dust the dirt off his clothes, Sasuke seized his chance to demonstrate his improved social skills.

"Hey dobe," he began and the blond glanced up at him with a frown.

"What?" the other ninja grumbled and Sasuke paused because the latter's tone wasn't what the book said it should be. _"The response should be of pleasant surprise"_ it had said and Naruto sounded a second away from tackling him to the ground…the non-sexual way, unfortunately.

"Hn, I-I mean," the Uchiha slightly stuttered, trying to correct his previous mistake, "Hey Naruto?"

Naruto cocked his head to the side, a little confused now, "Yeah?"

_'Much better,'_ Sasuke thought and smirked. "Want to come train?"

Kakashi, with his eye still glued in his porn book, noted that the Uchiha had completely forgotten his presence, but he didn't mind. It just meant more reading for him. In any case, he could sense that something was going on between the two troublemakers and since Ino had so nicely bribed him with her father's limited Icha Icha Paradise: Medieval Edition, he simply couldn't say no.

Meanwhile, Naruto grinned and gave Sasuke a friendly punch to the shoulder, "Let's go!"

* * *

After training, Kakashi had purposely dragged them deep into the woods and left them there to find their way back when the night came. Naruto kept saying something about how fate would guide them, but Sasuke couldn't help his growing skepticism when they turned around in circles for the fifth time, following Naruto's divine guidance.

The blond then attempted to convince Sasuke that the answer would be in the stars and while it was a good idea, the skies were fairly foggy and it was thus difficult to see anything through the blur. However, it was when Naruto pulled out the "we must _feel_ the nature around us" card that Sasuke finally concluded that his friend had lost it…or had been taking what Neji probably consumed, but to a ridiculous extreme.

"Dobe," Sasuke groaned in frustration, slapping a hand on the blond's shoulder to stop him from hopping away. "Listen, I've got a plan."

Naruto stopped trying to go through Neji's excruciating long list of fateful solutions and turned to face the other man. "Yeah? Is it better than making animal calls?"

The Uchiha felt like slapping his forehead, but refrained. "Yes," he answered, his voice a little strained. "Just make a bunch of clones and have them find the exit. Make them mark their path and we'll follow the right one."

Cerulean blue eyes widened in thought. "Sasuke!" he yelled and grabbed the latter by the shoulder. The raven stiffened under the touch, but forced himself to relax. Naruto, for his part, grinned in that silly yet endearing way he always did. "You're brilliant!"

Sasuke felt his cheeks flush at the compliment, but did his best to keep his complexion blush-free. He turned his head to the side and avoided the bright look in Naruto's deep blue eyes as the blond began to shake him in his excitement.

With a quick hand sign, Naruto dispatched a few dozen clones and huddled under a large tree's cave-like roots with Sasuke, both waiting for the first sign of a successful route. The cold wind was beginning to bite into their bare skin as the sky darkened into the night. It was just their luck that Kakashi had decided to leave them in the woods with only t-shirts and shorts.

After a little while, Sasuke began to feel his limbs shake and try to gather body heat through friction. He never did like the cold, but tried to contain the trembling, not wanting to alert the blond. Unfortunately or not for him, Naruto was more observant than he let on and wrapped a hesitant arm around his waist and closed the distance between them when the other didn't push him away.

It would have bothered Sasuke more if not for the blond's comforting warmth that gently engulfed his body, freeing his limbs from the freezing wind that made its way through the tree's roots. He slowly felt himself surrender to the secure feeling of Naruto's arms around his core and finally snuggled into his closest friend.

Naruto stiffened when he felt Sasuke rest his chin against his shoulder, but relaxed into the new position right away. He'd first been afraid that the other man would be stubborn and refuse his help, but was pleasantly surprised when the latter returned his pseudo-hug.

As Sasuke continued to shift, trying to find an ideal placement, Naruto struggled to keep his heart rate down. It was times like these that the blond thanked his genetics for his tanned skin that did an excellent job to hide his flushed cheeks when he blushed. He was also grateful that the Uchiha was not staring directly at his face, thus diminishing the risk of having to explain the redness.

For his part, Sasuke was comfortable and he enjoyed being closed to his favorite blond who doubled as a living furnace. Selfishly, he wished that the clones would all get lost or get attacked by wild animals, because he was quite happy like this. Or maybe Naruto's infamous stalker could go after the clones, his mind pointed out and he stiffened in the blond's arm at the idea. _'His stalker,'_ he remembered and frowned.

"Naruto?" Sasuke mumbled into the latter's shoulder.

"Yeah?"

They shift a little to be able to see each other, despite the poor lighting.

"Have you been troubled lately?"

Naruto paused and a chill ran down his spine when he realized that Sasuke had possibly noticed his feelings. _'Probably not,'_ he added in his head, partly to reassure himself and also because he didn't believe the Uchiha would let him hug him if he did. However, he knew he was a horrible liar, so he went with half truths.

"A little, why?"

Sasuke's frown deepened at that and he opened his mouth to ask about the stalker when the blond suddenly jolt up, his back straightening in the process. Unbalanced, the Uchiha stumbled off the other's lap.

"This way," Naruto stood up and lead the way, not looking back. Sasuke heaved a small sigh and followed him through the woods. Maybe he would ask about the stalker another day.

Before long, they had found their way back and bid farewell, both slightly wishing they'd somehow tried to gauge whether their feelings were returned.

* * *

The next few days, Naruto seemed a little more roughed up when Sasuke saw him. If asked, the jounin would shrug and avoid the subject, saying it was nothing or suddenly yell about paper cranes appearing everywhere.

When the third day passed and the blond still showed up with healing wounds that seemed only a few hours old, due to the Kyuubi's chakra, Sasuke began to suspect that the stalker was giving Naruto more trouble than he'd initially thought.

He knew how strong Naruto was and he also knew that the man could take care of himself. If he were to be honest, he'd readily admit that the blond had more raw power than he did, which was why he was often known as a powerhouse. Thus, despite the mention of an anonymous follower, Sasuke didn't really worry about Naruto getting seriously injured.

However, with the recent events where Naruto would randomly lose control of a limb for a few seconds or stumble over nothing, Sasuke began to worry. He suspected that the stalker, that he had by now fondly named "the threat", was messing with his favorite blond and causing him to be clumsier than usual.

And so, the raven-haired ninja tried to stalk the stalker…except he couldn't find the conniving bastard, no matter how hard he looked. He even went as far as going through sleepless nights camping outside the blond's apartment, but it came to no avail. It was getting hopeless despite all his efforts and Naruto still tripped over air or dropped his ramen cups at random intervals.

Finally, he found another solution and turned to his trusty books, or more precisely, the one called _Communication for the Inept_.

Sitting at his large wooden desk, Sasuke flipped through the chapters before landing on the section he needed: "How to Ask Personal Questions". His plan was to convince Naruto that he needed to tell him about his stalker problems and then, in a perfect world, Sasuke could kick the threat's ass and maybe rip him to shreds for laying his hands on his precious one.

He read the long text, noting down the tougher parts on a scroll to practice later. He couldn't write in Sai's books, but he made up for it by summarizing each part on empty scrolls he'd purchased for that very purpose. With the speed he was going through the reading, he'd have a how-to library by the end of the day. But then again, he'd do anything to make sure Naruto was safe. If it meant killing his hand, then so be it.

* * *

Lying on the Hyuuga dojo's large tatami mat, Naruto panted as he tried to catch his breath.

Being a punching bag was hard, _very_ hard. His instincts screamed at him to move, but he knew he shouldn't unless Neji told him so. It was one of the toughest jobs he'd had to do, but thankfully, it would all be over the next day.

From the side, he felt steps approaching him and looked up to see Neji's placid face staring down at him.

"Ready for the advice?" the Hyuuga asked and Naruto immediately jumped up from the ground before groaning in pain. Neji shook his head and sat down on the soft floor mat.

"Whatever he asks of you today, do it," Neji told him and the blond frowned in confusion.

"He keeps telling me to go get myself killed," Naruto pointed out and Neji almost rolled his eyes.

"Anything within reason, do it," he corrected and Naruto nodded in understanding before painfully standing up.

"I don't know why you want me to do that, but okay," the blond muttered, still a little skeptical. But since thinking things through wasn't exactly his strong point, he let it go and head towards the exit.

"See ya!"

Naruto left the Hyuuga compound, still somehow avoiding detection despite his sore limbs.

* * *

"Tell me," Sasuke insisted and gave the other his most convincing look: a mix between a glare and squinting.

"No," answered Sai and smiled in his creepy way when the Uchiha growled in frustration. "I didn't feel the conviction."

Sasuke glared at him, "You don't feel anything."

"I feel Neji just fine, when he –"

"Don't want to know!" Sasuke yelled and began pacing around the former Root ninja's living room.

In his left hand, he had another self-help book named _Convince Me, You Fool!_ while he ran his other hand through his dark strands. The back of his hair stood up even more against the pull of gravity as he internally stressed about his meeting with a certain blond that was set in a few minutes.

Sai watched the raven-haired ninja in amusement for a while before deciding that it was time to go and ushered the other out of his house. After all, as much as he enjoyed making fun of the Uchiha, he also had a date coming up and he'd much rather spend his time with Neji.

Thus, Sasuke found himself miserably walking down the large streets of Konoha, just dreading his coming conversation with a certain blond. He'd practiced tirelessly in front of his mirror and finally caved and asked Sai to mentor him…though why he'd sought the help of someone as socially inept as Sai, he didn't know.

He was to meet Naruto at Ichiraku's and as he made his way over, he could already spot the orange dot that was surely the person he was looking for. No one else loved the color as much as the idiot and while he was thankful that the blond had cut down on the amount of it he wore, it was still obnoxiously bright.

_'Part of his charm,'_ the Uchiha told himself and internally smiled. Orange had slowly become a familiar color that always reminded him of a certain bubbly friend who always inspired deep emotions within him. At first, he was more annoyed with the blond than anything else, but it gradually turned into rivalry, friendship and finally affection.

It took a long while and Sasuke didn't even feel the change until it hit him in the face, quite literally.

_He'd been making his way home, taking his time to feel the fresh autumn breeze against his skin when a blob of yellow and black fell into him and he felt his back hit the ground. _

_On top of him were a bewildered Naruto and a blushing Hinata, the latter quickly standing up, bowing and dashing away from the scene. _

_Sasuke was still pinned to the ground under the blond's weight and was about to yell at him, when he noticed the deep blush coloring the other's cheeks. Inspecting closer, he noticed the confused look in his blue eyes and, to his slight shock, the red and kiss-bruised lips._

_"…dobe?" Sasuke whispered, a little unnerved by the blond's silence, and Naruto suddenly jolted in surprise. He quickly stood up from on top the other ninja._

_"Sasuke! I'm so sorry!" he apologized and helped the raven up, dusting at the dirt clinging to the other's clothes. _

_"Hn, it's alright," Sasuke played it nonchalantly, though he secretly felt a tinge of jealousy burning in the pits of his stomach. "What happened?"_

_Naruto blushed even harder and looked away. "I'm not sure," he mumbled uncharacteristically. _

_The Uchiha quirked an eyebrow at him and somehow felt irrationally pissed that the blond wasn't properly answering him. After all, it was pretty clear what had happened. "Do you like Hinata?" he asked instead and saw the blond stiffen at the question._

_Naruto scratched the back of his head and finally glanced back at Sasuke._

_"I don't think so," he replied quietly. "Which is why I'm a little shocked," he admitted and Sasuke felt a sense of relief overtake him. He'd wonder why in the days to come, but at the time, he just felt so happy about it that he clapped the blond across the back and decided to treat him to ramen. _

_Naruto, being an oblivious person by nature, perked up at the mention of his favorite food and forgot all about the questioning and Sasuke's strange behavior._

Back to the present now, the Uchiha was approaching the ramen stand where the object of his affections was happily chatting away with the owner. As he got closer, he heard pieces of the conversation, but could only catch on to a few mentions about some kind of special menu and then a discussion about extra large bowls.

"Hey bastard!" he suddenly heard and glanced up at the blond sitting at the stool in front of him.

"Hn."

Naruto scowled at the monosyllable response, but let it go in favor of ordering his favorite dishes. When the old man Teuchi left to go prepare them, he turned his attention back to the brooding brunet next to him and wondered why the Uchiha looked like he wanted to kill the counter with his eyes. He wondered what was wrong.

Meanwhile, Sasuke kept glaring at the table under his fisted hands, as if it was the source of all his social ineptitude and communication problems. Now that he was at Ichiraku's, it was too late to turn back. He _had_ to ask Naruto about the stalker because the evasive threat was too sneaky even for him. However, no matter how much he recited the lines in the book, he simply couldn't get himself to word them out in front of the blond.

"Telling the table who's boss?" Naruto teased and Sasuke jolted in surprise before shifting his glare to his friend.

"Hn, it pissed me off," he grumbled and the blond blinked at him.

_'Did Sasuke just tell a joke?'_ Naruto asked himself, a little dumfounded yet strangely giddy about it.

"Just don't destroy it," he grinned at the brunet and playfully slapped the other's shoulder. "I still need it to hold my ramen."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but kept quiet because the owner had come back with their ordered meals. As usual, Naruto easily had twice the amount of food as Sasuke, but then again, not everyone had the blond's metabolism…or his ability to digest lethal quantities of ramen.

They ate in relative peace with the light chatter of the other customers as a soft background noise behind Naruto's louder chatters. He talked about anything that came to mind as he stuffed his mouth with bowl after bowl of ramen. Sasuke, for his part, listened to him and grunted when appropriate.

"So then Ino said that Neji and Sai were doing a good job," Naruto continued between gulps of broth. "I really wonder how they do it."

"Hn, me too," Sasuke agreed out loud and found cerulean blue robs staring at him curiously.

"Really? I thought you didn't care about relationships."

The raven paused and blinked in surprise_. 'Do I really seem that way?'_ he wondered before glancing up at Naruto, who had put his chopsticks down by now and was rubbing the back of his head.

"I just," the blond tried to explain, feeling a slight blush color his cheek. "I had the impression that you just didn't bother yourself with them."

Sasuke thought about it and shrugged. "I do care," he said and added a _'about you' _in his head. No matter how much he tried fixing his social awkwardness, he still felt most comfortable leaving the embarrassing stuff in his mind.

"Hmm," Naruto hummed in response and picked his chopsticks back up to finish his last bowl of ramen.

For the rest of the meal, Sasuke procrastinated on approaching the stalker subject and instead mulled over whether Naruto was also interested in relationships as the latter kept chatting away.

* * *

Ino shuffled through the shrubberies, trying to catch a better view when she suddenly bumped into something hard yet warm.

"Hello," she heard a deep voice say and quickly turned to find herself face to face with a smiling Sai.

She gasped in surprise, but kept her voice down.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered back, glancing left and right to check if anyone had followed her.

"Watching the show," Sai answered and Ino frowned in confusion before it clicked.

"So you know?" she quietly asked and when the man's emotionless smile widened a fraction, she immediately knew he was up to no good. _'Maybe I can use him,'_ she thought, trying to find a bright side to things. _'I can't use Kakashi anymore,'_ she added, thinking back at the glee in the older man's eye when she lent him her father's book.

Sai stared at the calculation look in the blond girl's eyes and took note that she looked like a monkey when she frowned. One of those monkeys he'd once seen at a hot spring…the same ones that liked to pick the invisible flees out of everyone's hair and that cuddled into little furry groups.

"Monkey," he said and pointed at the frown at her brow.

Ino's eye twitched at the comment, but she tried to keep her temper in check. After all, if she wanted to use him for her plan, she'd have to deal with his lack of common sense.

"Alright," she muttered, restraining herself from punching the creepy smile off his face. "Do you want to join me in helping them?"

"No."

Ino blinked. "No?" she repeated, slightly baffled.

Sai nodded and smiled wider. "No, I said I'd just watch."

The blond rubbed the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Fine," she finally told him and began to stomp away. "Just don't get in my way."

Sai waved her goodbye and turned back to watching the two blockheads in the training field ahead. Blond hair blurred past glimpses of black as the two jounins fought with all they had. It was intense and very entertaining to the artist.

Suddenly, some more shuffling was heard and Neji appeared next to the short-haired brunet. The Hyuuga strode forward and wrapped his arms around Sai's waist and rest his head on the other's shoulder.

"Ino just passed," Sai told him and pet Neji's arms like he'd do for a cat, sometimes rubbing a little harder when he felt the other lean more into him. "She knows."

"Hn," Neji grunted and tightened his arms around his lover, "Interesting."

"Her frown is like a monkey's," the artist continued and felt Neji nod against his shoulder.

"The ones from the hot spring?" the Hyuuga asked and Sai smiled in his creepy way.

* * *

After their lunch, Sasuke and Naruto travelled to the furthest and largest training ground in Konoha to practice on their more destructive jutsus. Naruto had convinced the Hokage to lend them the area for the afternoon and hence they had free reign.

They jumped from one branch to another, throwing shurikens or various jutsus whenever an opening was found. It was the usual rowdy battle they always had, except they were both preoccupied by thoughts on how to get their feelings through.

As Sasuke dodged shurikens and multiple clones, his mind ran in circles on how to approach the blond about his stalker. Surely it'd be a sore subject? He needed to be careful, kind of like an infiltration into enemy territory. You never knew what you'd find.

Absentmindedly, he threw a fireball in the blond's direction, but paused in his tracks when he heard a pained yelp and the sound of someone tumbling down and hitting hard ground. His eyes widened in surprise and he whipped his head around, quickly spotting Naruto down near a fallen branch.

"Naruto!" he yelled and jumped down to the latter's side.

Meanwhile, Naruto groaned and heaved himself up from his spot. He rubbed his back, all the while shaking his head to clear his blurred vision.

Sasuke quickly joined him down on the ground and, unknowingly to the blond, reached out a hand, his fingers pausing an inch from the other's shoulder.

"A…" Sasuke croaked out, but Naruto didn't hear him, too occupied with rubbing his sore back.

The raven watched helplessly as his friend stretched out the kinks and groaned in discomfort. He knew he was socially awkward, but was asking a simple "are you alright?" that hard? Frowning, he tried again.

"Hey!" he unintentionally yelled and Naruto jumped in surprise.

"What!" the blond yelled back, surprise etched into his features, then comprehension. "What's wrong? What? Am I bleeding? Where!" He twirled around and jumped around on one leg, searching everywhere for blood.

Sasuke refrained from slapping his own forehead. "No, you idiot, you're not bleeding."

Naruto paused and then frowned.

"Then what's wrong?"

"What's wrong with _you_?" Sasuke countered before blinking at his own phrasing.

"What?" blue eyes widened in confusion.

The raven held up his hand in pause. "I-I meant…are you ok?"

Out in the bushes, Ino rolled her eyes. '_Are you kidding me?'_ she thought, exasperated. Out in the field in front of her subtle hiding spot, the boys fumbled with their dirty clothes, stuttered through a pathetic attempt of a conversation. How could she let this go on? How could she possibly not want to help them?

Nodding her head as a sign of utter conviction, she formed a sign with her hands and decided to use her plan. If it didn't work, she could always run away. They'd never know it was her…would they?

Back in the field, Sasuke's left eye twitched as Naruto got further and further away from answering his question.

"…and you suddenly yell and I think I'm bleeding," the blond rambled, throwing his hands in the air. "Geez man, I thought I was on fire or something. Warn a guy before you yell, will you? Save it for life and death situations, ya know?"

"Dobe."

"Then you go and ask me if I'm ok. Of course I'm ok, are you? You're creeping me out, man…"

"Dobe!"

"…yell stuff like 'baba's coming!' when she's about to hit me. That'd be useful and could work for Sakura too…"

Sasuke opened his mouth to yell again when his limbs suddenly stopped working. Blinking, he looked down as his hand as it moved on its own, reaching out to Naruto and grabbing the ranting blond by the shoulder.

Panic ran through his veins and he fought against the alien force moving his limbs against his will.

Naruto halted in his rants when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning, he came face to face with Sasuke who had the strangest expression on his face.

"Hey, what's w-"

Their lips crashed together, teeth scrapping and surprising them both.

Sasuke winced at the rough contact before dread entered his system when his arms wrapped around the blond's waist. Naruto stood shell-shocked and hadn't yet moved while Sasuke desperately tried to move away. Surely the blond didn't want to kiss him?

Suddenly, slightly chapped lips moved against his own and onyx eyes widened in shock. Whatever was controlling his body kissed back and gently bit Naruto's lips in respond, making the blond groan and grab hold of Sasuke's waist. But then, as soon as it happened, the unknown control over his limbs disappeared and he suddenly paused.

Naruto kept nipping at his lips and he soon forgot he had not initiated it, passionately kissing back. They stumbled into a nearby tree before Sasuke roughly shoved the blond against its trunk. The blond growled into the latter's lips before grabbed hold of the other's shirt, flipping them around and making them both hit the ground in a tumble of limbs.

Out of the clearing, Ino tapped her own shoulder, proud of herself.

Suddenly, a low whistling sound startled her and she turned her head to the sight of Sai and Neji. The two men silently applauded her and while it would have seemed like a compliment from most people, Sai and Neji simply did not fit into the "normal" mold. With his creepy smile on his lips, Sai looked very much pleased with his new find while Neji just smirked and handed Ino a scroll.

Glancing down, she read the first word and felt like crying.

In a neat scrawl, the letter began with _"Blackmail"_.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you liked it and please comment! It'll make my day :D


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